A Half Hour a Day

They really need to coin this term and add it in the next DSM Manual of Mental Disorders.  I will even write the diagnostic criteria for them.  *ahem*

Showcase Syndrome is a newly confirmed diagnosis whereas the patient experiences mild to grave symptoms of depression following an annual trip to a Home Builders’ Showcase.  The symptoms are defined, but not limited to:

* lethargy

* emotional outbursts (these may range from mere weepiness to the more puzzling violent anger, especially when patient is confronted with an organizational dilemma which can’t be solved because patient does not possess a closet the size of her living room.)

*  periods of intense staring and daydreaming  (following a long-term study, it has been concluded that during these staring episodes, the patient is imagining herself in the middle of her fantasy kitchen, complete with glass tiles, Viking stove, and roaring open fireplace.)

* periods of frenetic internet activity (it has been concluded that patient is searching for thrifty room decorating ideas which will aid her in visualizing her fantasy.)

*  green tinge to skin in especially grave cases

There is no known cure for this syndrome at this time.  Large quantities of wine have been proven to be temporarily effective at relieving symptoms.  However, the best therapy at this time is proven to be time spent reading the Bible and chanting “Thou Shalt Not Covet, Thou Shalt Not Covet” while viewing videos of Third World nations.