Let me first say that being a stay-at-home Mom has been a blessing of mass proportion.  I love being “present” to my family and I feel very fortunate that I have been given this opportunity.  But…

And that “but” has been a source of near desperate guilt and frustration for awhile now.  Guilt because I have believed I *should* be satisfied…frustration because I am not.  I have been drifting, wondering how to fill the hole in my soul that teaching used to fill.  Unwilling to sacrifice my family’s present level of stability to return to work, I have examined other opportunities only to be left knowing that they weren’t right for me right now.  Drifting more…wondering if some of the decisions to bypass opportunities were the right ones. 

And then, one little conversation opened up an opportunity that I never would have envisioned for myself.  And yet….I recognized it nearly at once to be the anchor I had been looking for.  In the midst of a dinner conversation with my dear friend Mrs. Mokturtle (my tea-drinking pal) I mentioned my above dilemma.  Right away she said, “I know what you could do!!!”  As it turns out, she is on the Board of Directors for a charity called The Frank Iovieno Caring for Children Foundation and has been for years.  The mission of this foundation is to help children with life threatening illness, primarily those struggling with HIV/AIDS in the Greater Boston, Massachusetts area, and the area surrounding Albany, New York.  They need someone with a fresh perspective, and someone who can dedicate time to fundraising pursuits, including grant writing.  No experience required.  It was like watching gears *clickclickclick* into place, and I knew this was the opportunity that I had been waiting for.  I need to feel useful.  I want it to matter that I walked this planet.  This is an answer to a prayer.

I remember so clearly a dream that I had many years ago when I was really torn about my impending return to work after my maternity leave with my second daughter.  She was 13 months old and I was feeling very sorry for myself that I would have to “leave” her to go back to teaching.  I had a most overwhelming dream one night about two weeks before my return.  There was an older gentleman sitting in a chair and I was standing in front of him.  He was in off-white monk-like robes tied with rope.  He was bald and severe looking.  He looked at me with disapproval and said to me in a very scathing tone, “I gave you a talent and I EXPECT YOU TO USE IT.  Now stop whining and feeling sorry for yourself and do what you were meant to do!”  I woke up so suddenly and completely, heart pounding, yet with my answer before me.  That dream was a comfort to me then, and yet it has haunted me since I quit teaching.  Perhaps this will be a way to use my “talents” AND be home for my family, which is my other purpose in this life.

So be prepared to follow me on this new endeavor.  My addition to the Board happens officially on July 1st and I will be serving an initial term of one year.  After that, a decision will be made as to my continued service based on my fit within the organization.  If any of you are grant writing gurus and I don’t know about it, please let me know so I can pick your brain!  And please feel free to visit the organization’s website.  Hopefully there will be some new, updated information coming soon.  The foundation is very much active.

Oh, yeah….and wish me luck, cause I’m gonna need loads of it!