Month: December 2009

Happy New Year!

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Some years are defined by big events—the happy ones:  births, marriages, big vacations, new homes….and the ones that are hard to bear:  illnesses, accidents, deaths.  So many of you will look back on 2009 as a period of great struggle.  A few of you will define 2009 as a year of little joys.

I’m not sure how to categorize my 2009.  There were no new little people brought to being in my family (unless my sister has Baby Niece before Midnight tonight.)  There were no vacations.  There were no house projects.  Thank the good Lord there were no illnesses or losses.  It seems 2009 will be remembered as a quiet year, and I am grateful for the quiet.  Little lessons were learned, quality time was spent in simple ways, jobs were maintained, family was preserved.  All in all, a successful and happy year in the Zanduba Family.

Goals for 2010?  I have a few, but none so earth-shattering as to be worthy of note here.  I will simply hope and pray for “enough.”  Enough patience, enough strength, enough support, and enough joy to endure whatever comes my way in 2010.  Oh, yeah….and that lottery win.  That would be nice.

Happy New Year my friends!  May 2010 be a blessed one for you and your families!

A Tradition in the…Breaking?

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So, every Christmas Eve, we pack up the family and make the loooooong trek to my parents’ house a mile and a half away to spend the night.  (Okay, so it isn’t a loooong way.  It just sounded better that way.) 

We have done this every year since Zan and I got married *almost* 17 years ago.  It all started because when I married and left the house, my little sister was just 14 years old, and the thought of her waking up to open gifts alone with my parents on Christmas morning was unbearable.  So, we said, until we had children of our own, we would come.  Then we had Big Girl, but by then a tradition was established, and I couldn’t bear the thought of not waking up at my parents’ house on Christmas morning.  So the tradition continues.  My sister’s daughter and my three kids have never woken up at their own homes on Christmas morning, and although we have ventured into the discussion of whether or not it might be time to make the break (it is quite a feat for Zan and I to pull off Christmas morning with three kids…much, much more hauling) the looks of horror on our girls’ faces when it’s even mentioned, re-establishes our commitment to the tradition.

This year we are all on pins and needles, wondering if our tradition might be put on hold.  You see, my sister is due any minute to go into labor with her second daughter. 🙂  The official due date is January 6th, but our Darling Angel Doctor (my hero from Mister’s gestational days) said two to three weeks tops—-three weeks ago.  I spoke to her yesterday and she laughed saying she felt like a ticking time bomb.  The family is at Code Red, waiting for the phone call that will set us all into baby prep motion.  We are prepared for any and all eventualities, and yet my kids are uneasy entering into Christmas thinking their traditions may be threatened.  They have made me promise that we will be sleeping at Memiere and Papa’s even if the baby is on the way, or comes early.  And my sister has been asking that God grant her the special favor of holding off labor until after the gifts are unwrapped Christmas morning.  🙂 

We shall see!  And in the meantime, we all look forward to meeting the most important gift of all coming our way this holiday season….no matter when she chooses to arrive.

Addendum:  Baby Niece has not yet arrived, and our holiday was splendid and traditional!  A great time was had by all, and we now look forward to a week of family time and Second Christmas with Zan’s family. 

All I Want for Christmas is…

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…a longer attention span?????

So, I went ALL ALONE to Church this morning.  I wanted—-well, okay, NEEDED to be present at Church this morning.  I wanted to devote one hour to focus my attention on the true meaning of this glorious season—one hour to myself to  devote to prayer and peace.  I’m always so distracted at Church when I have the whole family with me that I rarely come out with any deeper understanding or calmness of being.  So today was mine. 

And what I discovered was that my kids are not the reason for my distraction at Church.  I am just simply distractible!  There was no end to my distractions….my head was a jumble of intrusive thoughts.

“Oh, look at that cute baby…so sweet! Awww…he’s getting baptized today! I remember when Mister was baptized…his suit looked almost exactly like that one.  Wait!  FOCUS! FOCUS!”

Okay.

“Oh, look! There’s one of my former students…wow, he’s gotten so tall!  What was his name?  Kevin? Mike? Jason? No…Kevin, definitely Kevin…..or was it Will?  WAIT!  FOCUS! FOCUS!”

Deep breath.

“I can’t believe John still made it to Church this morning after their great party last night! I know if it were me, I would’ve skipped it….Carly must be home with the kids cleaning up.  I’ll have to call her later to chat about lunch next week.  WAIT! There I go again! FOCUS! FOCUS!”

Listening.

“What a great sermon he’s giving today…I can’t believe I only have four days left to prepare for Christmas!  What do I have left to do?  Okay, candy…wrapping…gifts for this one and that one…shoot, can’t forget to make those pillows!  Maybe tomorrow?  But wait, I have to go to the mall tomorrow.  And I really need to go visit my Grandmother.  Maybe I should’ve done that instead of coming to Church today.  CHURCH! DAMMIT! FOCUS! (Oops..sorry God!!  I can’t believe I thought the word Dammit in Church.  I’m going to Hell…)”

And on and on it went, until I finally asked God to grant me the serenity of mind to focus for the last 10 minutes of the service and not embarrass myself further with my random thoughts. 

I used to be smart.  I used to be able to pay attention and process information…ponder it, and comment intelligently on it.  Apparently, not anymore.  I think it must be parenthood, and the inability to get through a single thought without interruption that has rendered me incapable of sustaining my attention on anything for more than three seconds.  Or perhaps it’s the years of continuous multitasking that has rendered me incapable of sustaining my attention on ONE thing for any length of time…..my brain is conditioned to do many things at once…being forced to do ONE thing, it breaks into random thoughts of nothingness to give itself the illusion of multitasking so it doesn’t feel itself a failure.  Whatever the case, I DO know that I must learn to attend at Church, not just to attend Church.  I’m sure God doesn’t appreciate my inconsequential musings.  And neither do I. 

I want to be smart again.

A Visit from St. Nicholas

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Wrapping Party 2009 for the Frank Iovieno Caring for Children Foundation was a huge success!  (Check out the new web design!)  When all is said and done, over 230 children will have a merrier Christmas thanks to the efforts and generosity of hundreds of sponsors and volunteers.  Big Girl and I drove to Boston to attend the event, my first ever Wrapping Party, and came home with swollen hearts and many new friends.  It was a fabulous way to spend my 40th birthday, focusing this milestone date on the calendar in sharp perspective.

People seemed shocked that, not only was I not at home in my bathrobe  locked in my bedroom with a bottle of wine and box of tissues, but that I was genuinely happy to face my “big day” with a smile on my face.  I keep wondering if I should be more depressed since that is what everyone seems to expect from me, but I can’t quite bring myself to wallow.  I have been blessed with 40 glorious years on this planet, and have everything worth wishing for….what is there to be sad about?  I do have to stop that little voice in my head that wants to mark it as a halfway point…but I guess  it’s all about perspective.  Why waste my precious time lamenting the passing of another year, when I can be celebrating the fact that I have had another year worth celebrating?

And although I was too busy to give my camera a good workout, I did take one photograph worth sharing.

Isn’t he wonderful?!  🙂