I know y’all are flocking over here (I use the term “flocking” loosely) expecting to see some Disney photos and recaps of my two-week-long Mouse Extravaganza, so I am sorry about the left turn I am taking at the moment, but seeing as how I *just* got all thousand or so off my camera yesterday, and began uploading *some* of them to Flickr today, I can’t quite wrap my head around where to start.

So, I am starting where my head is at, and that is nowhere near Disney.

My head is here…

This is Mister Baby Boy around one year old….drooling, teething, delightful, darling boy.

This is Mister Big Boy now…

Isn’t he charming??  LOL

In all seriousness, I love this photo because it captures my boy in all his emotional glory.  He remains one of the most delightful, darling boys, but now he has a personality that never hides it’s feelings.  And this photo catches him in one of his disappointed, irritated moments.  He did NOT want to get off that ride!  (Speedway Cars for those wondering.)

My sweet boy is on my mind tonight because he starts Preschool in the morning.  He is VERY excited, and I am praying that his excitement translates into an easy transition and a love of his new bit of independence, separate from Mommy for two mornings a week.

And I must confess to feeling a little guilt.  You see, I know that Mommies seeing their last born off to Preschool for the first time are supposed to be sad and melancholy…they are supposed to be worried sick and unable to sleep for thinking of their little sweetie having to face the big, bad world alone.   But here I am tonight, suffering a guilty conscience because (she says in a very low whisper hoping nobody will hear) I’m so excited I could pee my pants!! (She looks around with her hand to her mouth, not believing she uttered such words out loud.)

Yes, I am EXCITED, and I feel like a very bad Mommy indeed.  But you see, if all goes well (meaning he loves it and is happy and learning wonderful things) this will mean FIVE WHOLE HOURS A WEEK to myself! Five whole  HOURS!!  I haven’t had five whole minutes to myself in at least three and a half years.  And this summer, I haven’t had five whole SECONDS to myself with all three of them home.  When I was a working Mom, I had moments to myself throughout the day.  The ride in the car to work, bathroom breaks, lunch with friends (even if it was in the faculty room.)  But since I’ve been home, I don’t have a moment, waking or sleeping, alone.  I am not complaining, truly, as I feel so blessed to be home, but as I ponder the possibilities—-I get all twizzlesticked at the thought of aloneness.  I don’t even know what I will do, but whatever it is I will cherish the ability to do it ALONE.

Go to the bathroom…ALONE.  Maybe I’ll even read a magazine in there!!!!

Do laundry…ALONE.  Ten times faster than usual with my helper.

Watch TV…ALONE.  No Disney Channel!

Eat chocolate…WITHOUT HAVING TO SNEAK IT!!!

Lay on my couch with a book!!!  And actually READ it!

Oh, the Places I’ll Go!  Panera for breakfast with a friend!  Target, without having my darling boy begging for a Matchbox!  The Chocolate Mill!  The Bookstore!  The Library!  Grocery Shopping!! Alone-alone-ALONE!!!!

WhooHoo!

And you know, as I type all this, I laugh at myself, knowing that tomorrow I will cry in the car all alone after I drop him off and the reality strikes me.

My house will feel too empty without him here.

The car rides won’t be nearly as much fun alone.

Getting groceries will be a bore alone, without my little boy asking a zillion questions and “helping” me with the cart.

I won’t want to waste the free time reading a book or watching TV when I could get ahead on housework, or use the time to exercise at the Y.

Ah, well…

Maybe being alone won’t be all that great after all….but I’ll do my best to make the most of it.  😉

…is a very intriguing idea.
At first I thought that I would have no use for it.
But then, in the car, Mister began this loooooong soliloquy recalling a dream (or it was a story he made up…hard to tell which) and I realized right then the possibilities.

You see, listening to any three year old telling a story is a treat….the text may not be all that entertaining, but the speech patterns and meter usually are.

I wish I had thought fast enough to capture it, but maybe next time I will. This particular dream/story went something like this:

“One time, Daddy taked me to dat skeery house!!!! (as he pointed to a big ol’ mansion in Saratoga.) It was SKEEEEEEEEERY!!!! Der wuz a big pointy thing with sharp teeph, and it BITED ME right der!!!!!!!! (as he pointed to his hand with his big round eyes and eyebrows raised.) And Daddy taked me OUTside, and I ’till sawed it troo the window, and we runned and it was SKEEEEEEEEEEERY!!!! And we runned and we runned away reawy fast like dat (as he pumped his little arms in his seat) and I don’t like dat house. It is dark and it is SKEEEEEEEEEEERY!!!!!!!!”

Stories told by three year olds….priceless.

The Good Lord did not see fit to bless me with the means to have this:

However, I thank Him everyday for seeing fit to bless me with something much more valuable.

Despite the days wrought with frustration, challenges, worries, and crisis both big and small,  (and an “effer!” thrown in now and then for good measure) it all comes back to moments like this which make it all worthwhile.