The Family

What is the MATTER with Me?!

kanniduba6 Comments

I’m so SAAAD!!!!!!!  My girls are off to their first day of school, and I’m SO SAD!!!  I have NEVER cried on the first day of school…not when they each went off to Kindergarten, not when I tough loved them to school through belly aches and other anxieties.  I am not one to cry on their birthdays and lament the fact that “my babies are growing up.”  I usually greet the first day of school with excitement for them, and a few little butterflies on their behalf, but I’ve never been SAD.  Well today I’m SAD!!!  I keep telling myself, “Come on Duba, pull yourself together!!!!”  But I’m having a hard time…they’ll never know it.

Maybe it’s because Big Girl is no longer in elementary?  She headed off to Middle School today.  And she was scared.  She was most nervous about the bus ride with the bigger kids.  I could’ve caved…I wanted to cave and drive her, but we raise our kids to be independent and to trust themselves to handle uncomfortable situations and come out stronger for it.  I didn’t cave, but sent her off on her three minute bus ride to school with a smile and a wave (no blowing kisses anymore for her, cause that would be embarrassing…)  But I feel her nerves and wish I could wave my magic wand and take them away. 

And of course, I second guess myself and torture myself with guilt.  “Maybe I should’ve driven her this first day.”  Shoulda coulda woulda’s…the bane of a mother’s existence.

Then Little Girl went off, swallowing down a tear, because she’s headed off to school for the first time without her big sister.  “Maybe I should’ve driven her this first day too.”  I feel her heartache, and wish again that I could wave my magic wand and take her sore misser away.

So maybe my tears are of regret more than anything.  Maybe it’s because the reality that my babies are growing up just smacked me dead in the face today.  Maybe my misser is a bit sore too.  😦

Now, I’ll pull myself together, run some errands, and bake some cookies so they have something yummy to come home to.  And I will not do this tomorrow.

Sniffles

kanniduba2 Comments

Well, the first cold of the season has struck the family.  It is an inevitable fact of life that the beginning of school brings the first cold, however, usually the first cold comes after the first week of school, not before.  I’m hoping it isn’t an ominous sign of things to come.  Little Girl was first, followed over the next twelve hours by her sister, and then her brother.  Time to stock up on those antibacterial hand cleansers, Lysol, and Clorox.    I know I know…I’m helping to create those superbugs, aren’t I?  But from September through March, I become Germ Killer, waging war on influenza, croupe, pneumonia, and viruses of the gastrointestinal tract.  I have lived through way too many 105 fevers, 2:00am hospital visits, administration of breathing treatments, and nights of mopping up vomit to become lax in my War on Germs.  I can’t protect my kids from anything outside my doors, but I can at least attempt to minimize the explosive growth of the little buggers in my home. 

One Toddler

kanniduba8 Comments

 

Cheap.

I think his Daddy has been showing him too much YouTube.

Shopping is not my boy’s forte.  Old ladies (and a few young ones) were giving me dirty looks today.  Apparently I can’t control my child well enough for their sensitivities.  The problem today?  Balls.  F-ing balls.  I’m beginning to hate balls.  I want to write to Target and ask them to remove all balls…or items that can look like balls from a distance…what the heck, how about anything that is round…just take them away please.  Today I would not hand him a giant ball from the bin.  He made me regret it, though I am quite proud of myself for not giving in to his attempt to manipulate me into giving him his way.  I chose to ignore the fit, pushing the stroller through the gaping aisles, stopping to look blindly at items of interest, with my child screaming at the top of his bloody lungs, turning purple in the face, liquid running out of every hole in his face.  He was drenched in sweat, writhing in his seat, and yet, I smiled politely at the judgmental old ladies, pushing on.  I picked him up at one point, hoping to comfort, but when he raked his nails across my face, and kicked me in the legs, I wrestled him back into the stroller, strapping him in.  He didn’t like that very much.  And yet, I *think* I won the battle.  When he started sobbing sadly for, “Mamaaaaaaa,” I knew his anger was spent, and he knew he wouldn’t get his way.  I was able to pick him up at that point, and my sweet boy was back, the demon exorcised once more. 

“Dear God, please let me never forget what shopping with a toddler is like, so that I may look upon harried mothers and their screaming children with compassion, rather than disgust.  Amen.”

The Trials and Tribulations of School Shopping

kanniduba2 Comments

So it’s school shopping time, and I don’t think I have ever hated it this much. 

Big Girl is having more success finding clothes than Little Girl, but it is a challenge to keep her looking eleven with all the slutty sleezy whore-ish adult-looking clothes out there.  And of course, I want her to “fit in” but I refuse to let her fit in by “hanging out.”  Fortunately most of her choices are ones I can live with, and we have had no arguments yet.  I was dismayed to find that she fits beautifully (and quite grown-up-ly) into a size 0 jean from Aeropostale.  *Yikes*  They make her look about 16.  *Double*Yikes*  Aeropostale, Urban Behavior, and American Eagle are now “THE” stores she wants to shop in.  *sigh*  Money doesn’t go so far in those stores though, and she’s had to make some tough choices this year.

Now, Little Girl has tried me to the last end of my patience.  First of all, she is too small to wear a size 7, and yet is too big to wear a size 6X…so there’s our first problem.  And having tried on about 20 pairs of jeans, the ones we found that fit in the waist but would need to be hemmed in the length “don’t feeeeeel good.”  *grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*  And the shirts we brought home from Penney’s yesterday, didn’t “feeeeeeeeeeeeeel good” once she tried them on at home.  Sleeves are a hair too long (or too short) or they’re too itchy, or scratchy, or too soft, or the button thread tickles, or they’re too long in the waist, or too tight in the waist so they don’t “feeeeeeeeeel good.”  *grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*  Even the sneakers she picked “feeeel weeeeird” now that she has them home.  *grrrrrrrrrrr*  She has no shoes because she didn’t like any of them enough to try them on.  Apparently Mary Janes aren’t cool enough for second grade.  *grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*

It’s a good thing that September is warm around here…Little Girl will be wearing her summer shorts and flip flops until we find something that “feeeeeeeeels good.”  *grrrrrrrrr*

The Birth of Language

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So, it is finally happening!  It has taken 18 long months, but Mister Baby Boy is finally understanding language!  He’s a man of very few words, but I see the light of understanding descending on him and it has opened up a whole new life for us.  THANK GOD!!! 

I was beginning to think I was going to need therapy in order to handle my frustration levels.  His frustration was my frustration.  He wanted something, but couldn’t express it, and would melt into a full blown tantrum when he couldn’t make me understand.  He would go back over and over to the no-no’s and scream and kick when I’d take him away.  He didn’t understand the word, “Wait.”  You guessed it, another tantrum.

I believed that once language came, his behavior would change.  (Okay, I PRAYED that once language came his behavior would change!)  And just like magic, it did.  I say, “Wait,” he stops whining and waits.  I say, “No, no, come away from that,” he comes away.  I say, “Please take that out of your mouth,” he does it.  I say, “Come give Mommy a big smooch,” and he runs at me with arms wide.  Ahhhhh….our home is becoming much more peaceful.

Now, we wait for expressive language to blossom.  By this age both girls were speaking…Little Girl was speaking in full sentences, so there was no doubt that they understood me, and I could understand them.  Poor Mister has somewhere in the neighborhood of ten words…three of which are represented by the same word…”bawk” is milk, basketball, or blanket depending on the context.  And of course, his first word “ba” represents every round object on the planet beginning with all balls (that are not basketballs) and ending with every round fruit in the grocery store…oh, and bubbles and balloons are “ba” too.  He has “MAMA!” down pat.  And I am proud to say that please and thank you are actually two of the ten words…(please is “pee” and thank you is this mouth closed, throaty “g-g.”)  So, he’s coming along, and life is getting just a tad easier.  *WHew!* 

Now if only he’d stop falling and hurting himself…boy, torn frenulums bleed alot, don’t they?  *sigh*