The Family

I Take My Whining Seriously

kanniduba6 Comments

Whilst in the throes of my recent hating-my-house-moments, I had nothing better to do than sit with my iPad and look for trouble. There’s this handy little Trulia App that shows real estate for sale.

Well looky what I found:

Just a few miles from my house…waiting to be bought and built on. 30 acres. *sigh* Isn’t it beeee-yooo-teee-ful?!

But if you look closely at the photo, you’ll see what isn’t included with the property.

Little Neighbors 1, 2, and 3 that are as close to our children as cousins. Dear Neighbors who we have laughed with us, cried with us, supported us, and been supported by us. The many borrowed eggs, and sugar, and parmesan cheese that have passed between all our neighbors’ homes. Our Dear Sue across the street who has been a second mother to our daughters, and will always be family to us. Mr. Ding-A-Ling who drives by with ice cream every evening in summer. The deck Zan built for me. The former owners of our home who have shared their family histories with us. The sense of spirit and light our home possesses. None of that comes with that beautiful property in the photo. So here we will stay, grounded in the community we’ve helped build.

But look out neighbors…as Sue says, “It all starts with a throw pillow,” and I have some broken blinds in my windows. Better get a construction crew in to take care of them. 😉

New Directions

kanniduba7 Comments

What do you do when your husband has been diagnosed with dangerously high blood pressure and a sleep disorder, you have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, your lower lumbar disc starts bumping your sciatic nerve again, and two of your children are going through testing to get to the bottom of chronic gastrointestinal issues, all in the span of a four week period?

Well, you allow yourself to be pathetic and feel sorry for yourself for five minutes…

And then you count your many blessings, say a prayer of thanks that it’s nothing worse, blow your nose, and get on with the task of adapting to the new normal.

My family has been going through a Bad Patch.

However, there are things we are grateful for:

1.  Zan’s high blood pressure was diagnosed before anything terrible could happen, and it is already back down with medication and a diet overhaul. And hopefully he’ll be able to sleep well again in the near future which would be a totally new and welcome experience for him.

2.  All my lab tests, including blood tests, heart tests, and artery tests have come back normal…a great relief following some scary experiences and a dramatic increase in migraine headaches.

3. The diagnoses of Fibromyalgia, albeit unwelcome, explains a lot of problems I’ve had throughout the last year.  Thankfully I do not have some of the crippling symptoms of depression and anxiety that some experience, and my case is considered mild to moderate.  My body simply feel 90 years old…it could be worse!  🙂  At least now I can be proactive and take steps to manage it.

4.  If we have to go Gluten free, Wheat free, Soy free, or Dairy free for my kiddos, at least there are innumerable resources and foods available to help us do that.  We will hopefully know more when their lab work comes back next week.

5. My damnable slipping disc is at least giving me a warning signal by bumping my nerve, rather than dropping me to my knees immediately.  I can take steps to heal it while still able to move around.

6.  My wonderful parents have been available to watch kids and give rides to appointments when necessary while we go through all this stuff.

7. We have each other, and our world has not been shaken apart.  All this can be managed.

I thought I had better disclose this saga, as I’m sure there will be posts related to our new directions in the future, as we seek to change our lifestyle to adapt to our new circumstances.  Maybe even some new recipes as I seek healthier alternatives for me and my family?  I am actually quite excited about this book coming in the mail.  It will look pretty next to my copy of their original “Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day.”  You’ll be hearing more about that one, I am sure.  🙂

So enough about poopy things.

I leave you with evidence gathered when I was in Newport that spring really is approaching.  When passing through the dark of winter, one must always keep sight on the light of spring.

 

Parenting Teenagers for Dummies

kanniduba7 Comments

Never do I feel more unintelligent than when I am talked into circles by my beautiful, talented, intelligent, exhasperating teenager.  When my old fashioned values collide with the popular societal beliefs of today, I am at my most challenged.  And I’m not talking the Big Stuff…I’m talking the Little Stuff that has gone by the wayside to create a society that is all about the “ME.”

The discussion in my house last night was about the word, “Sorry.”  It calls to mind the Elton John song, “Sorry seems to be the hardest word.”  My Darling Girl’s argument, “Don’t you think if someone says ‘sorry’ they should mean it, and if they don’t mean it they shouldn’t say it?”

Of course, I am of the view that saying “sorry” is the “right” thing to do when you know you’ve done something wrong or have hurt someone (even unintentionally) whether you “feel” sorry in your heart or not.  The act of saying sorry is a right act.  Period.

The counterargument, “But isn’t that fake?  It takes me time to cool down and feel sorry, so shouldn’t I wait and say sorry later when I feel it?”

*sigh*  “Yes, you should say it once you feel it, but you should also say it if you don’t.  Two apologies are better than no apologies, or an apology said too late, even if one of them was not heartfelt.”

“But Mom, that is so fake!  That’s like those people who act all happy when really they are SO messed up inside!  Saying you are sorry when you aren’t, isn’t that the same as lying?”

{Oh, Dear Lord, help me now…}

*deep*breath*think*Woman*think*

So I get on my pedestal, and I start to preach.  I point to the sign above the window in my kitchen that says, “Because Nice Matters.”

“This new fangled notion of the “ME” being the most important thing is all bass ackwards in my opinion and the root of many of societies problems.  Today’s young people think that if they don’t ‘FEEEEEEL’  it, they shouldn’t have to ‘do’ it.  It is a selfish concept.  Apologizing to make the other person feel better and less wronged is the first step in the right direction, whether you “feeeeeel” it at the moment or not.  And I don’t believe in apologizing if you haven’t done anything wrong, but when you *have* and the only thing stopping you from saying that little word “sorry” is your anger and pride, then YES you SHOULD say it!  Why?  Because nice DOES matter.  Think of the other person, sacrifice your comfort level for the moment, and say sorry.”

{There, that should do it.}

“I see your point Mom.  But I also see the other side too.  I wonder which side is really right?”

*deep*breath*

“I am.  Tell me this…what would God want you to do?”

{Ha, I’ve got her now!}

“He would want me to say sorry even if I don’t feel it because it’s the ethical thing to do.”

“Bingo!”

But as she walks away, I can’t help but feel that my own values have been challenged, and she has quite effectively made me chew on my own beliefs.  I ponder and I wonder, “Does she have a point?”  What is the word “Sorry” if there is no sorrow or regret behind it?  An empty word?  Or is it filled by the rightness of the act of being said, and in itself, worthy of utterance for it’s own sake?

I must think on it more.

However, I am sticking to my original premise, “Because Nice Matters.”

I am left believing that I may have “won” this small battle of ethics, but not the War of Ethical Behavior…because what is Out There screams louder than I do, and that lifestyle path Out There seems at first glance to the very young, more colorful and inviting than the lifestyle path that I am offering, tangled with weeds of resistance and thorny bushes of unacceptance.

Man, this Parenting thing is hard work.

The embodiment of "Generation Z"-Her iTouch ran out of charge, so here she sits on my kitchen counter, plugged in, texting on her phone.

So what do you all think?

Say sorry only if you mean it?  Or just do it?  Discuss.

Nerf Madness

kanniduba4 Comments

Zan thought it would be a great idea on New Year’s Eve to secretly arm all five girls in the house (aged 9-17) with Nerf Blasters, with the instructions to attack their other uncle (his brother.)   Of course, they willingly obliged, pounding through my house, giggling and screaming to wake the dead.  It was all fun and games until Uncle chased down one of the girls and stole one of their Nerf Blasters…the tables were turned!  The chase was on in the other direction, and the girls unthinkingly blockaded themselves in the bathroom thinking they were safe.  Little did they realize that the Uncles wired our house and know exactly which button to push in the electrical panel to render total darkness within the locked bathroom.  I believe the neighbors could hear the screams of delighted “terror.”  *sigh*

Of course, all I could think was, “It’s all fun and games till somebody loses an eye!”

Thank goodness the girls emerged after calling a truce, unscathed and with all eyes intact.

My Niece/Goddaughter, displaying her weapon:

A Look Back as I Move Ahead

kanniduba11 Comments

Oh, what a year it has been!

Seems as though the echoes across the blogosphere are very similar…2010 had it’s ups and downs.  But isn’t that true of any year?  The height of the ups and downs varies, and yet up and down we go.  That’s life, and no one promised it would be easy.  I love blogging because it lends itself to being a sort of historical record.  I’ve never been the journaling type, so most of the things I write about here would become recorded in memory or photos only, left to fade as the years pass.  I mean, how on earth would I remember otherwise that on January 8, 2010 I baked a cheesecake?  Why I baked a cheesecake on January 8, 2010 escapes me, but I know that I did. LOL   (Next time I’ll mention the occasion, simply for posterity.)  As my photo wall says, “Our lives are made in these small hours.”  The blog has allowed me to etch the small hours into memory, otherwise I fear they might escape me in time.

So I look back on 2010 as most of you have done.

My first post of 2010 welcomed my niece into the world.  Definitely an “Up.”

And then February saw Mister’s third birthday.

I never did get around to photographing that train table…can’t believe birthday number four is fast approaching.

February also saw me on the floor with a bulging disk.  Definitely a “Down.”  However, that’s the funny thing about “Downs.”  They make you appreciate the small things you take for granted, so in effect, they somehow get decorated with this little bit of “Up” in the end.  The experience of being unable to support my own weight, let alone the weight of anyone or anything else (literally and figuratively) was humbling indeed, and a lesson in appreciation that I won’t ever forget.

March saw the adoption of my Nikon D90.  Another “Up.”  The first photo I took with it was this one:

I still have so much to learn.  I will admit, I have been missing my D40 because it was simple, familiar, and light.  In fact, at yesterday’s family gathering, I picked up my brother-in-law’s D40 and snapped a few photos.  I finally  realized that I had made the right decision…The D40 would not do what I wanted it to do.  I put it down, picked up my  D90 and felt love for it for the first time.  I think He and I finally have an understanding and will grow a beautiful relationship in 2011.  🙂

April brought with it beautiful weather.  How do I remember?  Bubbles, of course.

May brought along more beautiful weather and a teenager.  Big Girl turned 13 in May…I am quite certain that I am the proud parent of the best teenager on the planet, however, that does not mean there are no challenges to this venture into uncharted territory.  More “Ups” than “Downs” fortunately.

Threaded through all this was the challenge of having Zan away much of the time for work.  A HUGE “Down” but I tried not to burden you all with my whining.  From February through April, he was away working in the City two thirds of the time, including many, many weekends.  He was gone 10 days at a clip at times.  The neighbors thought we had separated, and Mister started to ask when Daddy was going to come for a visit.  It was not good.  LOL  But as anything else, now that we’re back to normal it wasn’t so bad!  Ha!  I have an incredible appreciation for our Military Families…I truly do not know how they do it.  The sacrifice they make for us is extraordinary, and no words of mine can do it justice.  (Thank you if you are reading this.)

As a Mother’s Day gift, we cannot forget this “little” “Up.”

It trumped every other favorite “thing” to take a number one spot in my heart.  🙂

June ushered in my Mom’s retirement,  big “Up.”

And July, a trip to the beach.

August, a new driveway…

And of course, the all encompassing trip to see The Mouse.

September brought back to school, and Mister’s entrance into the world of formal education with his first trip to Preschool.  “Up!”  And apple picking and balloon festivals…

October, new furniture, and with it, organization!!  Wahooooo!

November, beautiful leaves, a trip to see friends, walks in the woods, a longhouse project, and Thanksgiving with family.  Not a single “Down” to be had.

And then December…crossing forty into forty-something, and a holiday season filled with all the good things in life, food, shopping, friends and family.  🙂

And it’s only fitting that I end this post with the one I began it with…my Niece on her first Christmas.

There were bountiful “Ups” to get us through the few big “Downs.” All in all, a very good year.

I wish everyone a blessed 2011 with mostly “Ups” and only a few minor “Downs” to make you appreciate the “Ups” all the more.