Giving Thanks

kanniduba9 Comments

This season I’m focusing on what really matters. I always think I am doing just that, but I’m not. The days leading up to Wednesday when Zan’s Sister’s Family arrives for an extended stay, and preparations for the Big Feast on Thursday are usually in full swing are typically hectic to say the least. Shopping and cleaning, and cooking and cleaning, and cleaning and cleaning, are the things that take up my time.

But really, why am I cleaning like a madwoman? My home is generally clean…enough. I keep up with the dust bunnies, I vacuum and dust my living room daily, I change my beds weekly, and keep my kitchen and bathrooms functional and sanitary. So really, why do I feel the compulsive need to wash curtains, wash floors that will be tracked through by a dozens of beloved feet, wash windows and get rid of every stitch of clutter before anyone comes? They don’t care. They come to spend time with us, not to inspect my corners.

So this season, instead of washing windows, I will spend the time visiting my Grandmother in the Nursing Home. Instead of washing floors, I will go shopping, have dinner and watch a movie with my Daughter. Instead of scrubbing woodwork and cabinets, I will go visit my Aunt and finally give her that Rosary bracelet that has been sitting on a shelf waiting for her. I will play games and read books with my Son when he asks instead of saying, “Mommy just has three more things to do, then I will play.” I will have a pre-Thanksgiving dinner with my Parents and Sister’s Family on Monday night instead of creating last minute shopping lists and panicking about what has to be done on Tuesday. I will play a game of Scrabble with my husband instead of folding laundry. I will bake with my younger daughter, instead of insisting I do it myself to save time. I will at least have coffee and a quick visit with my dear friend Anywho even if I am cooking stuffing while we chat. And after the Big Feast, I will lunch and shop with my Sister-in-Law on Black Friday and get caught up in the exhilaration of the season (avoiding the chaos of the malls) instead of avoiding it to watch over the kids like I usually do. There are others, and I will get to them soon.

If I leave this world tomorrow, I don’t want any regrets. Who do I want to see, touch, talk to??? They are who I am thankful for. That is the focus of this holiday season. The dust bunnies can wait.

The Longhouse Project

kanniduba9 Comments

Little Girl’s Assignment:

Build a longhouse or wigwam, using as many natural resources as possible.

She was determined not to use anything other than natural resources.  If it was up to her, I don’t think she would have even used the hot glue to hold it all together.  My girl is quite the literalist.

But no worries, the furs are fabric.  Zan suggested skinning some roadkill, but for some reason, she didn’t like that idea.  Back when he and Big Girl built her longhouse four years ago, some stuffed animals were sacrificed for the project.  This caused an emotional crisis of mass proportion when both girls found out where the “fur” had come from.  They still get teary eyed when it’s mentioned.  I made him swear to let me take care of the supplies for that portion of the project this time.  🙂

Self

kanniduba12 Comments

So, I’ve decided that what I need in my life are Goals.

I am forty.

Every single solitary goal I ever made for myself, I accomplished.

Finish high school with honors. Check.

Go to college to get a teaching degree. Check.

Get my Masters and earn three certifications to make myself marketable.  Check.

Teach in my home district.  Check.

Get married young.  Check.

Buy a house. Check.

Have children.  Check, Check, and Check.

Earn enough money as a family to keep me home with the kids.  Check.

Now, although I feel blessed to have been able to accomplish all the long-term goals I set myself in my late teens/early twenties, the fact of the matter is that I don’t know what I want to do next.  Naturally, I want to raise my children and enjoy all that parenting still has to offer…and of course I want to maintain the family life we have built.  But methinks I need some new goals.  I suppose this is the mid-life (I’d like to think of it as EARLY mid-life) reevaluation that I’ve heard so much about.  I refuse to call it a crisis for the word “crisis” conjurs up a vision of panic and danger, unhappiness.  What I feel is more a contemplative moment at a crossroads…an opportunity for a change, a dive into the unknown, excitement, a chance to explore a different side of myself that I never explored because I have been focusing my energy on other pursuits.

I saw this on my friend Jai’s blog the other day…it was perfectly fitting, so I will steal it from him.  😉

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I have no idea what that “something different” will be, or if I will come to the conclusion that what I have been is what I want to go back to, but at least I am ready to bring these ponderings out of the shadows and into the light of existence. Time to set some new long-term goals.

And completely off subject, but fitting under the title of this post…

I was looking through photos recently, attempting to update my photo wall, and putting together an album for my parents.  I was surprised to note that there are so few photos of me.  I guess many of us behind the camera don’t feel very comfortable in front of it.  So, I figured it was about time to attempt a self-portrait.  I decided my husband deserves a photo of me that doesn’t have feathered hair and and a neon green sweater.  And my kids deserve better than the haggard hospital birth photos and harried vacation Mom photos they are stuck with presently.  🙂

Yikes!  This was HAAAAAAAARRRRRRRDDDDDDD!!!!!  But, for better or worse, here it is.

This is Me.

And in black and white…

Will have to remember to hand the camera over now and then, or else I’ll have to paste this one photo of me into every family album I create!  🙂