Month: March 2008

Flying

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So, we’re flying to Disneyworld next month, and once again I’m forced to face my fear of flying.  And yes, we’re flying Southwest, and scary news stories are SO NOT what I need right now!  And did you ever notice that just when you’re about to board a plane, there is a plane crash story everywhere you turn? 

I don’t know if it’s the loss of control, or my lack of trust, or just the plain old fact that it’s unnatural for humans to be miles in the air…but I nearly lose my rational self at take-off.  And of course, THEN I’m afraid, not only of flying, but of losing my nut and embarrassing myself and my family.  And, to top it all off, I refuse medication because I have three children and refuse to be half zonked on a flight. 

Now, lest you think I’m an absolute loony toon, I have never come unglued on a flight.  I’ve become pale with fear, but never unzipped. 

So, I’ve begun to work on visualizing myself sitting in the seat, the excitement of getting there overcoming the nervousness about GETTING there.  I’m visualizing calm, breathing, relaxation…this is good….until my brain clicks and I visualize myself screaming my guts out as the plane lifts off the ground.  Not good. 

Okay, so this leads then to the ultimate, self-induced guilt trip, as I hear that little “God” voice in my head saying, “Aha!  You don’t trust me.”  And I say back, “Of course I do!” while hanging my head in shame that, in reality, maybe I don’t.  “What about all those others who crashed even though they trusted You?”  asks my sinning self.  And back in my ear comes, “You mustn’t trust that I will save you, but that even if you crash you are saved.” 

I’ll work on that .

So, I called the cops on my darling husband last night….

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He was away, and was supposed to be staying overnight.  As I always do when he’s away, I battened down the house….Alarms set?  Check.  Doors chained?  Check.  Phone on the bedstand?  Check.  Knife under my pillow?  Check.  (Okay, so I don’t sleep with a knife under my pillow, although I’m such a chicken, the thought has crossed my mind.) 

So I slept soundly, until suddenly around 4:00 am, I woke up to the shrill screaming of the alarm.  It took me to the count of three to register what I was hearing, and of course my irrational mind conjured up the image of a snarling, smelly maniac entering my home to do my family harm.  (The rational me may have realized that my darling husband had come home early to surprise me, but rational and half asleep do not go together.)  So, yes, I dialed 9-1-1 as I tripped downstairs, armed with nothing but my phone (dangit!  I should’ve slept with that knife!)   The officer answered before I even hit the bottom of the stairs, and could hear my alarm.  He also heard my screech of relief when I saw my husband fumbling with the door chain from the OUTside of the door!  After half a dozen questions to assure himself that I was indeed not being held at gunpoint by a snarling maniac, the officer wished me a good evening and assured me that, “That’s what we’re here for, Ma’am.”  I was slightly embarrassed, but relief was my top priority. 

My husband just shook his head.   “Why didn’t you call me and tell me you were coming home?!!!” I asked.  His response, “I didn’t want to wake you.”

My Son, the Politician?

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Many years ago, my husband and I were having a discussion and I remember stating quite boldly that if I ever had a son and he became President, I would be ashamed because I would know the types of things he would have had to do to get there. 

This morning, while listening to the Today Show as it reveled in the news of the latest political scandal,  I recalled my comment while looking at my innocent one-year-old son over his Cheerios.  I looked into those sweet, fresh-from-God eyes, and wondered, “How do I raise this child to be a Man, worthy of being President…honest, intelligent, caring, honorable, strong, loyal—faithful to God, Country, and Family?”  I cannot imagine that this little human, with a soul full of love, laughter, and beauty could ever become anything but…….but.  So many forces…the task of raising this child, this someday man, to see his full potential seems daunting, and I’ve been at this parenting job for over a decade.

I no longer believe that I would be ashamed if my son became President.  However, I pray that God gives me the skills to parent this child, along with his sisters, in such a way that they will be worthy in His eyes.  Whatever they choose to do, whether it be President, or not, I hope they do it well.

Unexpected Beauty

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Last night, I needed to kill 15 minutes between dance lessons, so I took a ride over the bridge to see if the falls were flowing after all the rain and melt.  They weren’t, but I realized I had never photographed this part of the river.  So I decided that I would try to relieve my cooped-up-ness by going out on a photographing expedition with the baby this morning.  I could’ve driven around all day long, taking photos of things that I look at everyday, but never truly see.  They were all taken from inside my car, so I had to do some creative cropping, but I hope you’ll enjoy them on my Flickr page—>  They are all in a set called “Around Town.”