Good Morning Sue!

kanniduba3 Comments

Turns out, someone is still checking this blog daily, just waiting for a new post! And to think, I figured my presence here wouldn’t be missed! *waves to Sue*

Obviously, I took a little break. As I told my friend, so much has been going on, just in the simple everyday unfolding of life, that for awhile, I found myself sitting down to write, and not knowing where to start. Then so much was happening, but I wasn’t prepared to share it all. When you have to think too hard about *what* to write, then you begin to think *if* you should write, you sort of stop writing altogether. So that’s where I’ve been!

So let’s see…January and February in review, the highlights:

On a worrisome note, Zan’s job is a constant question mark, as his company has experienced lost revenue steadily. People have been leaving in droves, making us feel like he is on the Titanic, wondering if there will be a lifeboat left for him if it sinks into the deep. We take it day by day, and trust that we will be fine no matter what happens, but the unsteadiness under our feet leaves us a bit unsettled.

On a high note, we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary in January! We kept it simple with our annual overnight stay in Saratoga Springs, back where it all began. This milestone has given us the opportunity to look back with pride on the life we have built together, and we are thankful for the many blessings that have been given us along the way, most importantly our three healthy, happy, fun, and exhasperating children! My dear husband also gifted me with a beautiful diamond ring to celebrate! It is shaped like a snowflake and I cherish it. (I believe I see his lifelong wish for a Mustang coming true in his future.) 😉

In other news, my sister is expecting her third child in September!! This gives the family much to look forward to, and my dear Mother much to worry about! Neither of her daughters have a great track record in the area of “easy pregnancies,” so of course my Mom won’t rest easy until this sixth grandchild is in her arms with her smiling exhausted daughter by her side. 🙂

Surprisingly, (or not so surprisingly!) we jumped back into the home improvement realm with a little weekend project recently. We tore out a section of cabinets, patched and painted the exposed wall, and relocated another “moveable” cabinet, in order to make room in my kitchen for a new refrigerator. This beautiful thing has 32 cubic feet of space and makes up to 12 pounds of ice a day. I am in love!

IMG_4830We still haven’t put all the finishing touches on the addition (painting the bedroom window frames and adding curtains, another coat of paint on my new doors) but expect spring (if it ever gets here!) will be the time for that. We got a *little* burnt out on projects after the build, so it has been nice to take a pause and just enjoy living in the new space.

On another negative note, my dear husband fell and hurt himself about four weeks ago. He came home from working in the City one night, and as he walked into the bedroom said, “I’m alright, but I had a little accident at work.” A very large (about 2in. x 1 1/2 in.) chunk of skin was taken out of the middle of his forehead, and he looked at me with dried blood still on his face (lovely)…we joked after that it looked like he had grown a third eye. *teehee* After a visit to the ER, and minor surgery in the Plastic Surgeon’s office the next day, my husband is all put back together and healing very well from the ordeal. However, I have a few more gray hairs to show for it. 😉

Back to the happy stuff! We are leaving for Disney on Thursday!!!!! WHOOPWHOOP!!! After a very busy few months (Big Girl preparing for the Spring Musical, and Little Girl [who is not so little anymore] playing basketball all season and preparing for various Viola concerts) we are all looking forward to getting away! Me? I am most excited to feel the warmth of the Sun on my face and shoulders! I swear I haven’t been warmed all the way through since November. To prepare for our trip, I bit the bullet and bought a new point-and-shoot camera, a Sony Cybershot. It will take some getting used to, but I wanted something light to carry around in the parks. This is my first trip to Disney since the Fibro diagnosis and the back issues, so I figured lugging my D90 everywhere would be counterproductive. I really like this little camera…a sample shot:

2013 02 08_7723Lastly (for now,) I am embarking on a new adventure. After thinking about it for five or so years, I have finally decided to run for a position on our local Board of Education. I miss teaching (I left five years ago!) but am not prepared to return to work full time. I think this is one valuable way I can be involved in the educational process at this point in my life. The prospect is a bit intimidating, yet very exciting. 🙂 We shall see where it all leads me, and if I get elected or not. If it is meant to be, it will be.

Still managing my health well. Long naps once every few weeks, weekly chiropractor visits, daily tea, no wheat, caffeine free, acupuncture as needed…it is a full time job to stay on my feet and be at my best, but worth it! 🙂

Where Was God?

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Just like many of you, I have had a difficult time processing Friday’s tragedy in Newtown. I have cried, feared, swallowed down moments of panic, reflected, prayed, quietly mourned, held my kids just a little bit longer, and gone to scary places in my mind that must be pushed down and away or the fragile thread that holds Me together could fray and come undone.

I have heard teachers praised and upheld as heroes, and have witnessed the seeds of a new attitude toward teachers sprouted. I have seen people questioning gun control laws, and how we handle the mentally ill in our world. I have seen people question the very existence of God, and I have seen the unforgiving ruthlessness that dares pronounce this tragedy a divine punishment. I have also seen people defending their beliefs in an Almighty and leaning on those for strength. People are quick to say, “What has happened to our society where innocents are slaughtered?”

Have we forgotten? Innocents have been slaughtered throughout time and place…in the great history of Man, this is not a new occurrence. However, it is easy to turn a blind eye when the slaughter is not so close.

The Rwandan Genocide

The Holocaust

The School Attacks in China

Syria

School Shootings Around the World

School Shootings in the U.S. (1764-Present)

Mass murder is not new, but our access to news of what is happening all around the world, is. I think of Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire.” But today, we hear of every single fire, every single death toll, and we are given access to the emotional pain of those at the center of the tragedy through internet sites such as Facebook and private blogs. People are exposing their innermost sacred emotions to the public via posts that spread like wildfire, touching not only those personally connected to the suffering, but to outsiders as well. Perhaps it’s not a bad thing to be connected by this thread of empathy and mourning. The circle of support grows ever wider while so does the circle of grief.

And we ask, “Where was God?” when we we see these horrors.

I choose to Believe.

Every single solitary day, I make a choice…to Believe.

I see God in Ann Marie Murphy, whose body was found shielding the children in an apparent attempt to save them.

I see God in Victoria Soto who also died shielding her children.

I see God in the First Responders, the Staff who comforted those left in the moments following the shooting.

I see God in a Nation in Grief, where even hardened hearts mourn the lives of the innocents and question how anyone could commit such an evil act.

I see God in every sunrise, in every “I love you,” in every blessed moment of grace that has come to us “outsiders” that make us recognize our precious gifts, the love of family, and the sacred touch of a child’s hand in ours, the peaceful moments in our own homes, the Gift of an Ordinary Day.

It is easy to question the existence of a God that would “allow” such horrors.

But we forget, God gifted us with Free Will, and He never promised that an Earthly Life would be easy or devoid of sadness. I believe God revels in our joys, and mourns with us in our sorrows. He works His miracles seldomly, and even then through human hands and hearts…what some would call skill, I might call miraculous.

Believe what you will, but don’t let mass suffering shake the foundations of your Faith. Instead, look for the helpers in every bad situation (as Mr. Rogers once said) for they are the evidence of God.

One shooter. One Evil.

Many helpers. Many Angels. There is God.

“My Life is Not My Own!”

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A dear friend, in a moment of frustration facing some very real challenges, said this to me the other day.  And I was ready to chime right in, “Neither is mine!!”  This phrase has come to me again and again over the past several days, for example, when I’m trying to have a moment of privacy to use the bathroom and Mister is knocking for some urgent plea that can’t wait (in a five year old’s life, everything is urgent…to quote Dustin Hoffman’s Captain Hook: “WANT WANT WANT MINE MINE MINE NOW NOW NOW!!!”)

(Speaking of Captain Hook, have you seen the new beeeyooooteeeeful Captain Hook from Once Upon a Hottie Time…?)

What’d I tell ya? eh, eh?

Anyway.  *sigh*

OK, wait…what was I saying???

Oh, yes!!!  In the words of Captain Hook, “WANT WANT WANT MINE MINE MINE NOW NOW NOW!!!” This is the world of a five year old, and those of you who have ever lived with one of these creatures knows that your life is certainly not “your own” as long as this creature is near you.

Add in another child clamboring for attention and warm fuzzies, and a teenager who is beginning the necessary task of exercising her still fragile wings, and there isn’t a moment in which to think about your own life, let alone have one.  Something always needs doing, someone else’s needs are always above your own, and it is easy to fall into the pitiful refrain,  “My life is not my own!!!!!”

And yet….I have begun to think, is anyone’s?  My life IS my own because this is how I have chosen to spend it.  Maybe I didn’t realize I was signing up for a lifetime of servitude when I chose to raise a family, but I DID know it would mean my immediate wants and needs would take a back seat.

Think of the soldiers…their life is not their own.

Think of good parents…their life is not truly their own.

Think of the elderly in the nursing home…their life is not their own.

Think of the ill…their life is certainly not their own.

Think of those caring for aging parents, handicapped children, disabled spouses…not their own, not their own, not their own.

How dare I allow myself even one moment of “poor me?”

My life is not my own…and I am blessed that it isn’t.  For if it was truly “my own” it would be empty, lonely, meaningless.

Today, I thank God for the children who need me, the husband who keeps me, the house that needs constant care, and the ability to know the difference between sacrifice and fulfillment.

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” -Albert Einstein  (Click)

Scott’s Call for Color

kanniduba2 Comments

Well well well!  Seems I’ve come alive just in time for Scott’s last photography assignment of 2012!

This new assignment is “Color Composition” and Scott has (as always) included some helpful links to articles on the very subject.  This assignment is due to be posted on or before Midnight (your time zone), Wednesday, November 21, 2012.

Thought I would search through some of my old photographs to see if I could find a few worthy examples.  I found a few, but discovered in my search that I rely much more heavily on line, shape, and placement of the subject than I do on color.  Should be an interesting challenge to focus on just color.

Happy Hunting!!

Adding to the Noise

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“And then…all the noise! All the noise, noise, noise, noise!

If there’s one thing I hate…all the noise, noise, noise, noise!

And they’ll shriek, squeak, and squeal racing round on their wheels,

Then dance with jin-tinglers tied onto their heels!”

 

“They’ll blow their flu-flubers, they’ll bang their tar-tinkers,

They’ll blow their hoo-hoovers, they’ll bang their gar-dinkers!

They’ll beat their trum-tookers, they’ll slam their sloo-slunkers!

They’ll beat their blum-blookers, they’ll wham their hoo-whunkers!”

 – The Grinch (Dr. Seuss)

 

Do you ever wonder if your simply adding to The Noise?

I have been posting to this blog for nearly five years now.  Recently I’ve been quiet.  I could claim it’s because I have been busy, which I have.  I could claim it’s because I have nothing to say, but I do.  I could claim it’s because my photography has taken a back seat, which it has, and yet that’s not the real reason.

It seems I am simply tired of all the noise.

And I don’t want to add to it.

Who am I to spout my personal opinions?  Who really needs or wants to hear them?

Who am I to teach anyone about photography? I am an Amateur.

Who am I to share things about my family?  Does anyone really care what goes on in my little corner of the world?

Who am I to take readers along on my life journey?  We all have our own to travel.

There’s that well known saying, “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.”

I am wondering if we should be living by the saying, “What happens in your head stays in your head.”

At times I feel like shutting up.

At times I feel like writing a book.

At times I feel like standing on my Soap Box and telling everyone what I REALLY think…about religion, about politics, about education, about social issues, about technology and jobs and God and Purpose.

But who am I to share any of those things?

There are already too many quality Mommy Blogs. And quality Cooking Blogs. And quality Photography Blogs. And quality Renovator Blogs.  And useless  “I-Want-To-Spout-Off-Into-The-Universe-Anything-That-Comes-Into-My-Teeny-Tiny-Close-Minded-Brain” Blogs.  Do I really need to be another one?  A mediocre one at that?

Who really wants to hear it?

Am I simply………………..

 

 

 

 

 

Adding to the Noise?

 

Perhaps.

And yet….

And yet….

I think I will continue.

For this is MY place…My memory is stored here.  My joys, My sorrows, some frustrations, My Journey, My evolution as a human being.

And I think I will continue.